Updated: Mar 12, 2021
Change is a part of life, if you want it or not!
In general people have a natural resistance to change. When change happens, we automatically want to resist to it.
Why is change so difficult?
Change is difficult because we focus on the negative aspects of the change. We follow a strategy that does not work: we want to stop habits or patterns and focus on what we don't want. Effectively, we want to uncreate the very thing we have, but instead we usually add more features.
How do you handle change?
Everyone handles change differently. Some experience a lot of stress and a feeling of injustice or powerlessness, others feel able to get a better grip on the situation. This has to do with the degree of mental resilience.
Is resilience the solution?
It seems as if people with more resilience seem to just get on with their lives, are not vulnerable, or never feel sad or despondent. That is not true. On the contrary. However, they are less likely to be put off by the problems they encounter and bounce back more quickly. They deal more effectively with the setbacks and are therefore often more optimistic in life.
“If we add resilience to our lives, we will have less stress and more peace.”
Change is a chance!
One of the secrets of living happily is to learn to handle the changes coming our way.
It starts with a positive mindset; change is a chance to see new things. Life is a constant changing cycle, a process that never stands still.
Tips to strengthen your mental resilience
# 1. Accept change, it is part of life
Realize that the situation cannot be changed and that all feelings are part of processing the change. Accept the situation and the feelings for yourself, not for others. It helps you to move on instead of getting blocked.
# 2. Take control
See change as a challenge instead of something that overcomes you. What you can influence is the way you deal with the situation. By thinking in solutions and acting on them, you take control of your life. It brings you closer to what you want to achieve. You feel stronger and your self-confidence and resilience increase.
# 3 Set goals and take action
Setting goals drives you to take action! If you have a goal, this will give you direction, because you can work purposefully. When you have a goal in mind, you can link it to a plan of action and work on it every day. Goal-oriented work gives you more focus and more energy. Ask yourself what is the first step you can take to improve the situation for yourself?
# 4 Learn to feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation
Learn to become comfortable with uncomfortable situations and feelings of insecurity, fear and stress. The special thing about this is that it provides a feeling of more relaxation and you will experience less stress.
# 5 Talk to release stress
Talking to people about difficult situations now and then is good for stress relief. It also helps to organize your thoughts and that gives you the mental space to think about how you want to deal with the situation. Therefore, dare to be vulnerable and call a friend, talk to your partner or your colleague.
# 6 Take care of yourself
Spend time on yourself. If you take good care of yourself and live a healthy life you feel better about yourself, have a more positive attitude towards life and have more energy. You can also handle setbacks more effectively.
The secret in Change is focus all your energy not on fighting the old but building the new
... said Socrates revealing the key of a resilient approach.
By strengthening your mental resilience, you experience less stress, anger and uncertainty in difficult situations. You feel that you have more grip and that strengthens your self-confidence. You experience more pleasure and happiness in your work and your life.
The more insight you have into yourself, the better you can deal with disappointing situations. Therefore, discover your qualities, recognize your pitfalls and be aware of your feelings and reactions to unexpected events and changing situations. By developing your self-knowledge, you gain more self-confidence and you can determine for yourself how you can handle the situation (even) better.
Practice is the key!
Exercise: practice being resilient: when you feel stuck, resistant to change, ask yourself ‘what are the possibilities that could bring this change?’, set one small goal at the time to see what positivity can come from this change.
Do you notice a difference in your resilience after a while? Or would you like to work with me on handling change in a healthy way? Send me a message! I'm happy to support you.
If you have any questions about this blog, don't hesitate to ask!
Helen Lettinga, Transformative Coach & Trainer